I quickly made a list of things while I was trying to justify the thoughts swirling in my head. I’m emptying it here and now. Note: I sometimes refer to myself in the third person, in case you’re wondering.
Note: This was written during the dark reign of GMA
1. Suffered from a serious brain illness – uhurm, NOT MENTAL illness – when she was five months. Doctors told my parents I would either be mentally subnormal or retarded. Now I can legitimately trace my insanity to a biological defect! Hehehe…
2. Couldn’t see the hype in THAT story about emo vampires with serious make-up issues. Really, there’s nothing hot about a vampire who looks like espasol. To those who do not know what an espasol is, click this http://flic.kr/p/6wDWDL
3. Thinks of death when she hears a Britney song. Death preferably of Britney.
4. She used to enjoy the Harry Potter franchise, but quickly loses interest by the time the fifth book comes along and the series starts to read like a third-rate bodice-ripper crossed with Fox soap opera. The plot contrivances (Did we really expect Percy to show up in the final battle? Ah, it was really a set-up so that JK could plot a tender scene of the arsehole cradling his brother’s lifeless body.) Plot holes big enough for Hagrid to pass through! What happened Ms Rowling? The reasons could be BILLIONS, I guess (If you know what I mean).
5. SERIOUSLY thinks Kim Chiu should fatten up.
6. SERIOUSLY thinks Gerald Anderson should take acting lessons.
7. SERIOUSLY thinks ABS-CBN and GMA should start creating original innovative shows instead of ripping off overseas over-rated, voyeuristic programs. Whenever I encounter another Korean tele-series or another Ugly Betty rip-off, I reach for my barf bag. No kidding.
8. Sometimes blames her electrolyte imbalance on incident stated in No. 1. That includes entertaining serious thoughts about doing a Tyler Durden against the House of Congress and hunting down Paris Hilton to prevent her from polluting the airwaves.
9. Couldn’t decide which artist she likes best: Pearl Jam or Nirvana. On the one hand, Eddie Vedder is a liberal but his unintelligible singing could sometimes be, er, unintelligible. On the other hand, Kurt Cobain was just pure genius. If you overlook the fact that he’s a heroin junkie who blew his brains out, he was really quite charming.
10. Used to like Bono of U2 until he became a blow-hard, sell-out, faux ambassador for the Third World. Stick to songs, Mr Bono!
11. Couldn’t decide which is sexier: Johnny Depp or RDJ. *Sigh* Sweeney Todd or Tony Stark? On the one hand, I wouldn’t mind having my throat slit for as long as Mr Depp is doing the slitting. On the other hand, “doing everything and anything Mr Stark requires” seems like a tempting job description, eh?
12. Thinks Dubya is an inspiration to imbeciles everywhere (“Hey, if that idiot can rule the most powerful nation on earth, why can’t I?”
13. Believes that President GMA is doing a good job.
14. Number 13 is a joke.
15. Used to devour Sweet Dream romances during high school and 20-odd years later was delighted to recognize Jeanne Tripplehorn in the cover of PS I Love You as well as Jen Aniston’s BFF Courtney Cox in the cover of another. HAHAHA!
16. Has a nasty three-tiered procrastinating habit: First Stage: There’s no need to rush the project. Still have time to watch another episode of House. Second Stage: Hmm… three days is enough to finish the project… but not before playing Mafia Wars for, like, 30 minutes. Third Stage: WTF! Is it deadline already????
18. Thinks that Peter Jackson is directly related to hobbits for two reasons: One, he just made a seminal film about Middle Earth that is to be the standard for epics everywhere; Two: He’s hairy. ‘Nuff said.
19. Counts the Matrix as one of the best sci-fi films she watched because it has two things going for it: (1) A great plot which withstood Mr Keanu Reeves efforts to wreck the movie with his terrible acting, (2) Carrie Anne Moss in leather.
20. Fell in love with the Pillsbury Doughboy because it resembles her husband. Harharhar!
21. Couldn’t see why people would continue watching a sudsy, over-rated movie about a sinking ship just because Leo DiCap happens to be on it. (And Kate Winslet appeared stark naked).
22. Once had an argument with a Harry Potter fan in a forum and Spider-Man fan in another because she declared that the two were GAY. I wasn’t trolling, I swear, but how could you explain their habit of shooting white stuff at their enemies?
23. Fell in love with Gael Garcia Bernal in Y Tu Mama Tambien. Then again in Motorcycle Diaries. And again in The Science of Sleep.
24. Is a huge fan of Sex and the City series but was quite disappointed with a film, which looks like an extended video of Vogue.
25. Used to fantasize about Boyzone’s Stephen Gately only to be devastated when learning that Mr Gately was gay. *Sigh* Why are all the good ones unavailable?