SUGARY MUSINGS, Uncategorized

TOP FIVE ACTORS WHO OUGHT TO RETIRE | SUGARY BITES by NegrosSugar

5. Al Pacino

Dear Al. Acting with Keanu Reeves must have trautamized him – and hard. Really, how could you explain his career choices for the past 10 years? Quick, give me one, just one effing movie that he starred in where he is not channeling a crack addict from Hell’s Kitchen. I understand actors have to pay the bills, but Gigli? 88 minutes?

The last decent film he had was Carlito’s Way, and that was when the dinosaurs walked the earth. And really, how many people have watched 88 Minutes – a movie so bad, studio execs immediately shoved it under 50-cent bins in video stores. As a fan, it was painful watching Pacino unravel right before your eyes. He looks like my grandfather who doesn’t know where his pee bottle is, and he absolutely needs to go. He looks lost, as though taking directions from cue cards that his director left behind, so he doesn’t know where the heck he was supposed to go. Or maybe it’s because he just realized he is, again, in a bad film and he was utterly bewildered where his once brilliant career was going.

BEN AFFLECK | Dungan sulod sa pelikula sa iya abyan nga si Matt Damon | Samtang nagasaka ang abilidad ni Damon sa pag-arte, nagsarurot naman ang iya ni Affleck | Image from http://bit.ly/mROdRv

4. Ben Affleck

He peaked too early in his career. His last box-office hit was Pearl Harbor, and he was horrible in it. And then, the movies nobody came to watch. Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, has more online searches. The only way his handlers can ensure that the public won’t forget about him was to get his pic and his entangled love story with Supreme Skank J.Lo in all the trashy papers, right there beside Mary Kate Olsen’s anorexia and La Lohan’s boob job. *Sigh* He better get some serious advice from Matt. But then, Matt has talent, and Ben has… Jennifer Garner.

ROBIN WILLIAMS | BacolodSpice's favorite film with Robin Williams in the lead is Bicentennial Man where Robins plays a robot who became sentient | Image from http://bit.ly/j1CiwJ

3. Robin Williams

His filmography is, I have to admit, evenly distributed. He started as a wacky funnyman, and the audience was willing to dismiss his misses (Flubber) and concentrate on what he does best (ad libs – his Genie is the best sidekick this side of the animated universe – yup, even above Donkey). Then, he branched off nicely enough into drama and thriller, showing that he’s not afraid of being cast against type. And all of his efforts are crushed under the weight of RV. Time to sign those retirement papers, Mr Williams.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE | Great singer, great dancer, not really a good actor | Idolo ni BacolodSpice ang iya ala kuyap nga mga hulag sa dance floor | Nagtinguha si BacolodSpice nga sundon ang mga galaw apang nabalda kag na-ospital siya sa sulod sang isa ka bulan | Image from http://bit.ly/izhYKc

2. Justine Timberlake

C’mon. He should have taken his cue from Britney. These singers should stick to what they do best. Nobody can be J.Lo (sing shitty, profitable songs and star in equally shitty, profitable movies). Stick to singing Justine, and leave the acting to veterans like… Madonna. And this brings us to…

TOM CRUISE | "Siya na ang artista pare sa Tom Gun!" says the neighborhood toughie | "Top Gun guro pare gina-mean mo," we told him | Tom Cruise | Vampire, samurai, special agent, war veteran, ginbayaan si Nicole Kidman

1. Tom Cruise

Okay. His last five movies raked in mega-millions in the box office. But for the sake of humanity, he should retire. He is Scientology’s worst enemy. People who have second thoughts about the sanity of Scientology members would simply look at Mr Cruise to erase all doubts. People with that kind of mental soundness shouldn’t be making any more movies. They should find themselves a nice retirement home and private nurse. And that’s me being kind.

Advertisements

About Hannah|JuliusMariveles

English instructor and broadcast journalist

Discussion

7 thoughts on “TOP FIVE ACTORS WHO OUGHT TO RETIRE | SUGARY BITES by NegrosSugar

  1. Ang paborito ko nga salida ni Robin Williams amo ang “Awakenings” kun diin upod nya si Robert Pacino. Ay! Al de Niro? Basta linte pareho lang na sila ah. Nag hibi ako sa amo to nga sine. Matuod nga luha ang nagtuluragay halin sa akon kalimutaw padulong sa akon apipingig.

    Posted by givemetravelfunds | May 4, 2011, 3:29 am
  2. Caption for Ben Affleck: Touche!

    Posted by Serena Labrador | May 4, 2011, 4:59 am
  3. Cruise breaking up with Nicole was probably the best thing for Nicole, all of her fans celebrates that day. As for Cruise moving on the actress ‘What’s her name again?’ well I think his jumping around on the couch on the Oprah show, yes a man is still cool after watching Oprah, showed what mental state he is in now. CRAZY! =P

    Posted by David | May 4, 2011, 9:02 am
  4. Ahai.. Tom Cruise is too handsome to be crazy.. :[

    Posted by meColee | May 4, 2011, 9:16 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Our Tweets

%d bloggers like this: