Dear Mr Manny Pacquiao:
First of all, forgive us.
We don’t know how to address you. “Mr Pacquaio” sounds to encyclopedia salesman-ish; “Pacman” is a little too informal especially for a Representative in Congress; and a “Dear Manny” would make this seem like a Dear John letter.
Anyway, we write to wish you luck on your fight with Shane Mosley tomorrow. The man might be a lot bigger than you, but we know you are the better fighter. We are not sports fan, but we have seen your fights and we have been quite impressed by your lightning-speed punches and your reflexes, dispatching your opponents before they know what hit them. Beautiful. You have made boxing into an art form. The only person to match your speed would be the former President, who stole millions from our coffers faster than you can throw those punches.
But we digress.
Like we said, we write to wish you luck with your fight. We are sure you will once again entertain the entire nation who will probably be glued to their sets once the fight will start. You will once again unite an entire nation who, for a brief moment at least, will forget about the skyrocketing prices of oil, their homelessness and the fact that they have no means to buy that galunggong in the market.
You might have known that a lot of us regard you as a hero, mainly because we cannot find one that we can rally behind. There are no more Rizals nor Bonifacios mainly because the establishment, like the one during the Spanish regime, has branded them seditious and they are “neutralized” one by one.
And so we turn to you.
That is why Mr Manny Pacquiao, we are humbly asking that you stick to what you do best: striking your opponents with your impressive punching combos. Leave (dirty) politics to the experts, you know, the clowns who are burning a lot of money to get front row seats to your fight while their constituents are going hungry.
Concentrate on the fight – leave the PR to the actual practitioners, those whose reputations are so sullied, they need to hire an entire PR firm to deodorize their image. Really, with the kind of adulation you are receiving from fans, you don’t need to convince us that you’re wearing “yellow gloves” to symbolize that the biggest fight you have would be against “poverty”.
First of all, we believe that “symbols are for the symbol-minded”, like what our idol George Carlin once said. Not only does the yellow gloves reek of a bad political propaganda, but it also rings false and fake. Whoever of your advisers who thought that one up ought to be fired, or better yet, shot.
Second, don’t promise to fight against ending poverty in the Philippines. That is not your job as a boxer. That is for your other job. Don’t confuse us please, with the dual roles you are playing, or else we will a take you on your word. Would you be willing to give away the $20 million that you are getting to the starving Filipino people to prove your sincerity in “ending poverty?” We thought so. Please, don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.
Third, wasn’t it just a few years ago that you turned down a telephone call intended for a fan of yours who just died while watching your fight? He was killed of heart attack due to sheer excitement. When you were informed about it by your alalay (I don’t know who – you seem to have a lot of hangers-on, eh), you brushed aside the call and said, “Sabihin mo natutulog ako.” Unfortunately, the caller heard what you have relayed to your alalay who received the call.
So please, Mr Manny Pacquiao, go back to being the boxer that we love and respect.
Stop the politics, the bad attempts at PR.
You don’t need it. You are THE Manny Pacquiao. We like the old Manny better, the sincere, humble guy from the barrios. To that Manny Pacquiao, we can relate.
And on this note, we wish you luck – but you probably don’t need it.
Good day, Mr Pacquiao.
We know once more you will do the country proud.